Friday, June 10, 2011

I am a broken man

Thursday, 8pm.

READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED:

I am bruised in places I had forgotten existed. I have never been so mistreated in my life. She beat me from every direction. She punched me in the gut and yanked on my nipple when I did something wrong. Move just a tiny bit too far to the right and she tosses me over. Put a knee in the wrong place and bam! I was back down on my shins as she wreaked havoc on my crotch. We were drenched and covered in oil. Our whole bodies were soaking wet from the physical exertion.

I've got a gash on my left elbow. My right elbow feels like it's been attacked by a cheese grater. My knees are on their way to being black and blue. My chest is bright red. Even my feet hurt. WHY DO MY FEET HURT? I didn't remember it being this way. I remember laughter. I recall the exhilaration as we crested together. Wave after wave of excitement that would finally build until it exploded and we'd be tossed free of each other. It was supposed to be fun. This WAS NOT FUN!

It was a long 2 hours. I'm sore all over. My whole body is in shock. I'll be lucky to hobble by morning. I can barely straighten my legs out. But it was worth it. It's really hard to frown on a wave runner.

Thanks Carla and Melissa. I had an awesome afternoon. Looking forward to Saturday.

My lumps.



Friday, 5:30pm. Still bruised. Very sore.



I'm heading out on the pontoon tomorrow at 10am. Off from work all weekend, I'm going to celebrate the lack of rain by floating all summer. The boat has returned.



It's 97 degrees. The yard has wilted.

4 comments:

grouchy said...

TOOOOOOOO FUNNY!

And you are going to do it again!

HA!!!!!

Tom - 7th Street Cottage said...

Oh, absolutely. I always go back for more.

Michael said...

Ouch! Nothing like a little slap and tickle. Great blog!

Crosby Kenyon said...

As long as you still have a good time.